My name is Danielle Roof. I just recently lost my son, Alex on October 6, 2020 due to Sudden Heart Arrhythmia. I am 43 years old and hope that my journey with Alex’s passing this life physically can help other parent’s navigate, especially during those first days, and weeks. My goal is that we can navigate the next months and years together. I have never been an extremely religious person. Yes, I do and have always believed in God, but I have never found a religion that I totally believed in during my lifetime. I’ve been a Baptist and a Mormon, and studied many faiths in between. Regardless, I’ve always had questions that could not be answered and I am one who needs answers to truly believe. When Alex crossed over, I immediately began panicking for him, for his spirit/soul all while my own heart was shattering into a million pieces. Where is he, how is he, is he alone, who is taking care of him, does he need me, can he hear me, is he with me?
In the middle of feeling I was dying myself, the main thing I wanted to know, was that my “baby” was ok. These blogs will take you through my journey thus far and going forward. I will post as I am progressing in my own spirituality and search for peace. I am still learning and navigating through the unknown, but I do know that my child is 100% with me and has been since the afternoon I found his body in his perfect sleep state position after his spirit/soul had already left.
If you are here as a grieving parent, I am so sorry for you loss. I will not tell you that it is going to get better. It’s been a little over four months for me and it still feels like the first day most of my days. I do however want you to know, that your child is still very near and if you know what to do to keep the relationship with them continuing until you meet again, you very much can. Alex and I still very much have a relationship and I am hoping as I continue to grow in my spirituality, so will our relationship until we are reunited.
Is it the same as having him here with me? Absolutely not. There is a void in my heart and life that I know will remain until my time on this earth is done as well.
Believe me. I am struggling as I am. Nana